Recovery: Part 5 (Apprehension)

For the past two weeks all that I have been able to think about is my gallant return to the trail and now that I am less than 12 hours from my plane departing to take me back I am filled with apprehension. What if my foot goes out again? What if it's not the same after such an extended hiatus? What if I get attacked by a polar bear and die (damn you Lost...)?

My apprehension isn't bad - I don't feel crippled by the thought of going back - but I am much more nervous than I thought I would be. I thought that I would hear more from my trail friends in my absence. What if they resent that I took so many days off? What if they are all hiking at a pace that outdoes me every day and leaves me in the dust? When you go without contact for that extended a period of time it's hard not to "what if" yourself into oblivion. 

More than anything I'm excited. I spent a good amount of time shedding weight from my pack (and subsequently adding it back on in the form of a solar charger and a flask of Bulleit bourbon) and upgrading to new gear that will hopefully make my trek more enjoyable. I am more confident with my ability to put in the work and get the miles done and start the gradual push back up the coast. 

In the beginning no one thought that:

A) I was in my right mind

B) I could and would want to do the whole trek

C) I wouldn't get eaten by a bear/snake/hillbilly/wild boar/rabid skunk. 

Well guess what. I'm going going, back back from (?) Cali, Cali. Watch out AT. I'm coming for ya.