Today was one of the hardest days that I have had on the trail and we only walked just over 10 miles. After watching Red Knees and Monk board their bus I meandered up to the post office in the center of town and picked up a belated birthday card that was waiting for me there. The kind, loving words brought me back from the sadness of being at least temporarily a solo hiker out here and brought me back up. A few minutes later, my long lost friends Lady and Bomber strolled up and we headed down to the Gypsy Joynt for an ice cold lemonade.
After our cold beverages Bomber generously offered B-Line, Why Not?! and me a ride back to the trail. I have never been so thankful for people as I was today, though I fear I showed it pretty poorly. Having a guaranteed ride as well as friends to hike out of town with helped to spur me along and get me back onto the trail - I think they knew that I needed support today to keep me moving.
The first part of the trail out of Great Barrington was a relatively flat walk through grassy fields filled to the brim with mosquitos, gnats and (I assume, though I never saw) ticks. I immediately applied a generous layer of Deet to my body, clothes and the surrounding area. Mosquito mass genocide continues.
After the fields we headed up a long but steady climb to the ridge line. Low on water and desperately hungry (genius Tobie, way to not eat lunch), I could feel my mood begin to sour even before we arrived at the first shelter. When we finally walked up and found that the water source close to the shelter was dry and the one slightly further was 0.3 miles down an aggressively steep hill I pretty much lost it. I let Why Not?! and B-Line hike on...I needed a "come to Jesus" moment.
Here I was in the woods. Alone, bug-bitten, tired, smelly, sore, blistered and malnourished (while in town last night I realized that I have lost my glorious butt to the Appalachian Trail. Why?!?). I had just watched two of my closest friends go home and countless others leave to take time off. I missed everything about home and everything about my comrades that were no longer with me. In most normal circumstances that would cause me to leave wherever I was an seek out civilization instantly. And yet I felt guilty for even thinking of leaving. How could I let down everyone that has supported me and who is cheering for me and believing in me? My friends, my family, my trail buddies both near and far, everyone that reads this persistent whining that I call literature...so many people want me to keep going. Hell - I want me to keep going. But that didn't change the aching feeling of longing for home as I sat on a tragically lopsided rocks with tears streaming down my face, haplessly swatting mosquitos off of every exposed inch of skin I could find.
Somehow I found a way to pack up my things and sling my pack on my back and begin moving, one foot in front of another. Soon, two miles were down (we crossed a road where I looked longingly towards civilization before putting my headphones back in to tackle another climb) and then another two.
At a gravel road I veered off and walked the extra half a mile to get to a lake where Dip n Sip, Newton, Why Not?! and B-Line were planning to have dinner and camp after a refreshing dip in the lake.
After a few hugs, at least a gallon of water, 800 calories, several long calls to friends and loved ones at home and a chat with some local kids out with a summer camp I now feel rejuvenated. The mosquitos can't get me in my tent and the moon is illuminating the forest beautifully. Across the lake frogs are groaning and croaking, hopefully full from a glorious dinner of mosquitos. I think I will sleep well tonight - tomorrow is a new day.
No comments:
Post a Comment