Last

One last meal not cooked on a camp stove. One last night in a freshly made bed. One last scalding hot shower.

I'm really starting to think that I've lost my mind.

I barely slept last night - maybe 3 hours total. All of the lights in my little La Quinta Inn room were blaring in all their florescent glory in a desperate attempt not to oversleep the arrival of Survivor Dave. Somewhere between midnight and 1:00 I woke up to register my panic button and figure out how to use my water purifier in the sink, fully realizing just how much I had procrastinated.

Until about 20 minutes ago I was fitfully resting between and during episodes of Law and Order: SVU on my phone. Why that show calms me down probably says something about my psyche that I want to know nothing about. Now, showered and fully dressed, I'm sitting on the bed watching the minutes tick by until its time to head downstairs for my pickup. I'm blogging mostly to ensure I don't fall back asleep.

In 20 minutes the phone goes on airplane mode and I am officially off the grid. And I for one am getting more terrified by the moment. My mind is bounding between "bear attack" and "calm the fuck down you're just going for a really long walk". Pardon my French. I already miss my friends and family and, let's be honest, I mostly miss my puggle. Nothing I have done in my life has prepared me for this solitude though I suppose the best time to learn is the present.

Last night's feast at The Red Lobster is still sitting heavy but I am hopeful that it will last me for at least the next day.

Time to go - wish me luck.

xoxo